Declaratives never work. There is always an exception for, or an argument against whatever hardened rule someone creates. Always. But what happens to Pinocchio’s nose when he says, “I’m lying”? We don’t always have the answers, and when talking about pop culture, those untrustworthy declaratives remain perpetually flawed, but they also become incredibly interesting. To Kill a Mockingbird is about to turn 50 and we’ll be inundated with wonderfully nostalgic rants about the book being the best novel of the 20th century, or the most important American book ever, or the first “this”, and the last “that”. The book deserves high praise, but I’m launching a pre-emptive strike. Other than being the best book Harper Lee ever wrote, it’s not the best anything. And despite being, possibly, the most read American novel of the 20th century, it can’t touch the upper echelon of American literature. You should read To Kill a Mockingbird, everybody should read it, but lets not overstate its place in history. That being said, hyperbole is also fun. So I’ve come up with some hyperbolic declaratives that are absolutely, positively, 100 percent true, and are beyond brilliant. Watch out James Wood.
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